Link and His Statue
by Fancy Mustache
Summary: A random crack-fic I made about Link and the Statue from the Temple of Time (Twilight Princess)! It's really random, but I hope you read and enjoy it!


Author's Note:

I've had 3 too many chocolate bars, and have been playing Zelda for 3 too many hours… Thus this is born!

It is a crack-fic that takes place in the temple of time, in the game _Legend_ _of Zelda: Twilight Princess_.

The whole story is basically what happened in my mind when I played the game… of course it was all just me talking to myself, though…

I hope it is as fun to read to you as it was as fun for me to write!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own LoZ- though I sure wish I did!

Link had just finished solving the riddles on the upper floor of the Temple of Time. He nervously looked down to his suede boots, noticing his shadow below him. "Hey Midna?" He questioned, still staring at his shadow below.

No reply.

"Midna!" He hollered, slightly annoyed. Usually she came right when he called her! Quickly, the shadow below him shot upward and materialized into a short dark elf-like woman. Her odd tattoos glowed bright blue (as usual), and her yellow/red eye stared at him angrily.

"What do you need now?" She asked, clearly bothered.

"Well, do you know where this statue is? We are at the top an-" He was cut off by Midna shaking her head and face-palming.

"Come on _hero" _She said mockingly, stressing the word 'hero' out in an almost taunting way. "Lets try to use our eyes for once, okay? I only have one, and I can _still _see it no problem. Turn around."

With that, she shot right back under his feet- back into his shadow. Slowly, he turned around.

As the statue registered in his vision, the whole world- no, time itself seemed to slow down. His eyes directly landed on the statue's. He couldn't help but stare, dumbfounded by her beauty. A blush started to creep onto his features, and he couldn't help but rub the back of his neck sheepishly. Carefully, he started towards the statue.

"H-Hey. Haven't seen you around here before." He talked smoothly, trying to play it cool.

"…"

"M-My name is Link, what's yours?" He questioned, nervous as ever.

"…"

His blush deepened, and his gaze returned back to the ground below him.

"T-Tiffany, huh? T-That's a beautiful name!" His gaze went back up to hers, and right when they met- he felt a strange tingling sensation pulse throughout his body. He was guessing she felt the same way, because right when he felt it, she started to glow a bright green in the cracks of her body. He then realized that he activated his dominion rod- or maybe she did? Her gravitational pull was just so…

"Hey, what do you say we get outta here?" He huskily asked, taking a step back. Just as he did, she took a little leap forward. He couldn't help but let out a big grin. With that, the two started on their way, down the stairs.

After a while of walking, Link noticed that Tiffany was following him perfectly. She never went too slow. And, to his liking; she never strayed or went further away from him.

_Does this mean what I think it means?! She… she doesn't want to leave my side?!_

He couldn't help but blush again, and feel a bit cocky.

_Ah-hah! She must know I'm completely capable of protecting her. She must trust me completely!_

A smug grin once again broke out on his face. Quickly, he turned around to glance at her. Just as he did, his eyes met hers. Right when that event took place- he swiftly looked away. Blush returning.

_H-Has she been staring at me this whole time?! Oh man, oh man! What do I do now?_

He slowly veered closer to the wall, causing Tiffany to collide with it. A dull ping echoed throughout the temple, catching Link's attention. Link quickly swerved his head, all of his attention on the beautiful statue behind him.

"Hey, are you okay?" Link quickly urged, concerned.

"…"

"…Hey…" As the words sadly exited his mouth, he tried to get a little closer to her. But, in response she only backed away. "Come on, I won't hurt you." Link tried to assure her, only to have her retreat a little more again as he got closer.

THEN! He had an idea!

He started to circle around her, in a way that if she did try to go backwards, she would only press against the wall. After a while he was finally where he wanted to be.

[Wall][Tiffany] [Link] [Wall]

In a horizontal line, so that when he moved towards her, she went nowhere.

Soon, he was right next to her.

He noticed the way the green glowing lines shimmered about her body, how her rock/dirty steel skin reflected the golden sunlight from the nearby windows. But, what he really found enticing was her beautiful emerald eyes. They shone like a million suns, completely enticing him. He couldn't help it. Soon, he started to pull his head closer to hers. She didn't back away, nor did she reject his closeness.

Slowly, his warm lips met her cool smooth ones. She didn't fight it, she simply just took it all in. After a little while, he started to kiss her more passionately. Then, it evolved into a more aggressive kiss, once this started; Tiffany started to join in as well. Her body moved fluidly with his, his movements became hers. Link couldn't stop himself, couldn't help himself! He quickly broke away from her and murmured; "I may not be a statue like you, but I assure you- I can make your bed _**rock**_." On the word 'rock', his voice went down an octave, and It came out as more of a ripping growl. Right after all was said, he continued his ferocious kissing, which Tiffany happily returned.

How did it end? Lets just say Tiffany was very, VERY _busty_.

THE END

… I can't believe I just wrote that. I just… Really can't.

Oh well! Hope you enjoyed! Please share! Please PM me if there are any grammatical errors! Please comment! DO WHATEVER YOU WISH.

Love you guys! Have a great day!


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